for one, i just can't get over how blue the sky. have you looked up at the sky in idaho? blue. like really blue. it's amazing.
a couple weekends ago, i house-sat for some family friends who live up on a hill on the outskirts of town. the view from their house is amazing: lake lowell on one side, and the city on the other. one night, i just sat outside and watched dusk turn into night. it's been so long since i've just sat and looked at the stars - or really, been able to see them.
and dry heat. you have been the one i've missed the most. it's so great to be able to enjoy warm (even hot) days without the weight of humidity; and in anticipation of cool night to follow.
i don't know why i ever thought i could survive, let alone live, on the east coast. not my place.
this summer has definitely been a transitional time for me. i feel like i'm just always processing. processing my time spent in philly. processing who i am now. processing where i'm supposed to go from here. and all these things are just kind of lurking around in my brain.
today is sunday.
tomorrow is monday - which begins the third to last week before i head out on my journey back home to idaho.
this is me in the beginning stages of planning out said journey and actually doing some constructive things towards that goal. i started packing a little bit last week, and plan do some more later today.
i’ve been going through a lot of different emotions, and don’t really know how to feel. and i don’t like not knowing how to feel.
on the one hand, i am so excited to be going home. today is so beautiful, so i’ve had the windows open, and a neighbor is bbqing or something and it smells so good. i can’t wait to spend the summer in nampa. it’s going to be so beautiful. walks with coco, bbq with friends and family, fire-pit conversations, driving around in louise with the top down. all glorious things.
but the reality that i’m going to have to say goodbye to these people here, is starting to sink in. yes, i’m happy to never have to go shopping at aldi’s in west philly again, but it’s so difficult for me to think about never again seeing some of the students that i’ve connected with here. i was talking to a friend of mine about this and he pointed out that something would have been wrong if i weren’t feeling this way; and i know that’s true. but it’s still not something i want to think about.
to help keep myself distracted, i’ve been working on a spring blanket which i just finished this weekend! i’m honestly pretty proud of it, since this is the biggest crochet project i have chosen to tackle. i can’t wait to use it on a cool summer night.
also, in having my windows open, i realized that there must be a hole in the screen because a couple nights ago what i thought was a huge moth came soaring into my room. i don’t like dealing with killing things. not for some humane reason, but because i don’t like when those things squish or crunch, so i usually just let that little creature run away out of my sight. which is exactly what i did with that moth. but the next morning, upon further examination, i realized that the moth was actually a butterfly! and then i was so pleased to have a new friend. i took some pictures of the little guy, whom i have named gerald.
i realize how much i am like my father, because i took about 20 pictures of this guy. my dad could fill five (at least) full albums with all the pictures he has of nature and squirrels.
and while i would have loved to have continued that company, a person’s room is really no place for a butterfly to live. so through some careful persuasion, i let gerald go this morning.
goodbye gerald. i’m glad for the time we had together. fly free and proud.
one last thing. in allowing myself to be bewitched by the sights and smells of a summer quickly approaching, and with the thoughts of roadtrips and the great northwest in my sites, i bought myself a nice straw fedora. i must say i'm pretty pleased with it.