yet in the midst of this, i must pause for thought.
playing in my ear is the album leaf both into the blue and in a safe place albums (but currently into the blue).
and the reason i pause is because of the memories brought back to me by the familiarity of this music and i'm brought back to another time.
last year i was in such a different place. relationships were not even close to what they are now.
it's interesting how certain things can inspire and encourage us. even bring us some sense of comfort in the abyss that we find ourselves in.
and while in most ways i'm glad i'm not in the abyss anymore - in others, i wish i was.
last year was the worst sort of hell i've ever been through. and because of that, i cried out to God in such a real and raw way. because i didn't have anything else. i was left alone with nothing. isn't it interesting how that seems to be such a common occurrence in life? that we don't seek God fully until it is absolutely necessary. but shouldn't everyday be absolutely necessary?
i long for that emptiness.
that emptiness that makes me so desperate for Him.
i long for that rawness.
the rawness that can only be healed and made new by Him.
in these days when i am struggling to finish my college education and move on to something more, i pray that i don't lose sight of all that God has given me. all that He has shown me. all that i have rooted in Him.
2 comments:
you will not lose sight...your focus, passion, the thing that drives you is still God. but it sounds like you are referencing the way you got to God, but there are other ways...just like Narnia. haha.
Dearest friend, I am so happy that I got to see you last night at Flying M. Alwaysr remember that you are precious in HIS sight. He makes all things new and all things right. I love you!
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